We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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