Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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