Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
