then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize