I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
i need some magic done to my vagina
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
