Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
