did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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