You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
