I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
