It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
