the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
