Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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