11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Just cropdusted the office
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
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Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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