So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
