Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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