Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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