Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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