We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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