How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
