Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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