I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
