is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
