You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
