He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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