Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
