I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
