Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
