We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
