this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
