I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
