i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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