I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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