Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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