My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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