If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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