so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
