Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize