How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
