May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
