Small penises have feelings too.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Blood and glitter go together right?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
