plz talk dirty to me
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
