I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
