i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
