I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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