I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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