I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
