We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
