thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
