i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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