I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
