Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
