spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
vagina is talking i cant
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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