lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
