Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
