So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize