The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
