Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
