last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
