Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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