Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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