Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Little spoons don't ask big questions
you win again, gameday.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
