Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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