I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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