the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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