what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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